doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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