Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
