I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
