Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
