sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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