i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
