I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
