I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
