O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
