does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
