Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
