I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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