Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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