i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
