Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
