I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
