Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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