So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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