Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
