I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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