I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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