chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
