watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
