I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
