forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
