is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
