i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
