Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
