I hate all girls vehemently.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
