I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
