# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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