they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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