Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
