u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
should my penis look like a turkey
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
