whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
