a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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