I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
