I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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