he referred to my room as the tit cave...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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