Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
two words...techno handjob
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
