How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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