Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
