i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
