billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
