Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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