I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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