you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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