She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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