He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
