i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
