My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
