That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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