dude i'm inner monologue high
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
