I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
