omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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