You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
