Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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